It’s National Pro Wrestling Day, folks, and what better a time to show your love for women in wrestling than now! There is so much happening, including Willow Nightingale making her Chikara debut as part of the Young Lions tournament! Also, the League of Lady Wrestlers, Toronto chapter, have released a set of valentine’s day cards that you can purchase to give to your loved ones, or hoard for yourself just like I’m doing!
A month back I teamed up with other members of DMG Toronto as part of their Gym Jam and created Skin Tight Bitch Fight. Now, that game is live for play in your browser on itch.io.
The game is fairly straight forward, although not too easy to win. Your goal is to play alone, or with a partner, and put on a match that will go over with the crowd. If the crowd isn’t satisfied your next show will have to be cancelled.
Give it a try and support it on itch or my patreon if you can. 🙂
To get you in the mood for this post, I’ve got the background music of choice for you. That was almost my entrance theme for Doughnut Messaround as part of the League of Lady Wrestlers, but I felt that the Mr. Softee motif may have been lost on the Canadian crowds.
So here I am, sitting at home eating an ice cream sandwich and wondering how much happier I would be if one of my favourite wrestlers was imprinted on it, just for novelties sake. There are days when I describe silly facts like that about myself and am met with the response of “it’s your aesthetic” and no one is surprised. But alas, this ice cream sandwich does not have that magic value that I so desire.
If you weren’t around to revel in the joy of the Good Humour branded treats, you weren’t missing much. They had a bizarre almost slushy like texture, probably caused by freezer burn, but I would still chase the truck down the street to get one if they were around today. Maybe with the current resurgence of wrestling in the forefront of pop culture, WWE and Good Humor will humour us and listen to CM Punks many demands and bring ’em back for a final go. Where in the hell are my WWE ice cream bars?
Back in 2008, WWE magazine even had a DIY page on how to make your own bars in time for SummerSlam. Vanilla ice cream, cookies, chocolate shell and a popsicle stick? Maybe we’ll have to test this out this summer and make LOLW branded ones for our own promotion and see how those fly off the shelves.
I am totally on board with ice cream being the official wrestling food, especially in the heat of the summer. So let’s take a look back at the glorious promos all surrounding these not so tasty but memorable treats:
This weekend I got to partake in my first ever “game jam” with DMG Toronto. A game jam is where you have an finite period of time in which to create a video game, and this was my first time ever setting foot near video games. The theme was “GYM JAM” so Femmezuigiri through our hat in and decided to collaborate with some fellow members of Dames Making Games and create a wrestling game.
The game is still in the beginning development stages but will be playable on Femmezuigiri once it’s complete.
Skin Tight Bitch Fight is a visual novel in which you take over for the league booker who has come down with a nasty case of Hulkamania — the most serious of ailments. Navigating through a sea of pun laden wrestling promos you select your fighter match ups and a few of their moves cooperatively with a partner in an effort to please the crowd. But be careful, if the crowd isn’t happy then they won’t buy tickets to your next show and the promotion will go under. Support the fighters and do your best job booking and agenting these matches so the women can afford to continue on with their wrestling careers.
I’ve decided to give you a sneak peek and introduction to the ladies who make up the roster of Skin Tight Bitch Fight.
The kick ass League of Lady Wrestlers hosted their first ever ISLAND RUMBLE at Artscape Gibraltar Point on Toronto Island September 6th, 2014. Analog Preservation Network was there to capture some of the footage on glorious VHS. Here’s a quick overview of the nights events.
Watch Kitty Stardust and Cuntzilla go at it.
Whipper Cream runs her mouth like a winner while her client, Great White Snatch, does her thing against the tough Ladyboy.
See Sweetie snatch her victory over league leader Big Jody Mufferaw.
And Doughnut Messaround cuts a really messy, sweaty promo on Mumu Dairy Air at the end of the night after tearing down the ring.
Our very own A.V. Christensen, as Doughnut Messaround, starred in Ian Keteku’s new video for his poem “Lumumba” as part of the anarchy team in a fight against the system.
Monday Night RAW starts and it’s my weekly internal debate of “Do I sit through three hours of poorly booked wrestling or do I follow my twitter feed and live off the recaps from my followers?” I decided to give it a shot to see if Vince was actually going to follow through with his vague promises.
#GiveDivasAChance started trending on twitter 2 weeks ago and it still shows no sign of going away. The WWE tries really hard to be on the ball in terms of staying current, so every week Michael Cole will address anything related to the promotion that is trending on twitter. It popped up during RAW as a result to the Divas match clocking in at less than a minute; that’s right, we have male “Superstars” who have longer entrance sequences on the show than the women were allotted to fight a complete match. Despite all this, the announcers stayed mum. Fast forward to the next day and we see good ol’ Mr. McMahon tweeting the following:
Does Vince hear us? Is he actually going to take a chance to let us influence the narrative of his product or are we going to see a small glimmer of hope and just slide back into the way it’s been. Their current motto is “WWE: Then. Now. Forever.”; if that doesn’t show a resistance to change, I don’t know what does. Take a skip ahead to last Monday, Michael Cole was given the go ahead to address the hashtag which was trending yet again. He addressed it on air by mentioning that it was trending, but nothing further than that. It seemed your typical RAW with drawn out matches and in ring babbling and added in celebrity appearance since Wrestlemania is just around the corner. This week’s celebrity was Wiz Khalifa who got EIGHT minutes of airtime. The Divas got five minutes total. A five minute match isn’t that atrocious, it’s at least four minutes more than they got the week prior… except this was combined between two matches.
Vince McMahon heard our cry, we kept watching and he “Gave the Divas A Chance” by letting the women have more than one match one the show… but they needed to combine both matches to be shorter than an adequate men’s match. To put some icing on this bittersweet cake, partway through the second match featuring Naomi and Natalya, their husbands (Tyson Kidd & Jimmy Uso) started brawling at ringside and the cameras followed the men. What you’re telling us, Vince, is you hear us but you don’t care.
Who knows if this is a tipping point for WWE in how they treat women, but we need to remember that the buck doesn’t stop with them and they aren’t the end all be all of wrestling. This problem has trickled down to indie level promotions as well. Unless a promotion is all women, such as SHIMMER, League of Lady Wrestlers and Valkyrie, or it’s a women’s event as an exception, it’s extremely commonplace for there to be one women’s match on a card… if any are included at all. Bonus points if your sole women’s match is intergender! There are more than enough talented wrestlers who aren’t cis men that can be booked on your show; what’s the harm in mixing things up?
Women’s wrestling is moving up from what is seen as the mid card “bathroom break” and I will continue to bitch and moan until people like Vince are sick of hearing me and actually make an effort to change. Let’s see if this trend continues and whether or not it’s a genuine effort, or if they’re just pandering to keep us quiet.